Historically, besides its use in Greek mythology, it derives from words like the Greek mentos which means “intent, purpose, spirit, passion” and the Sanskrit word man-tar which means “one who thinks.”

I was very fortunate to have great advisors throughout my career. Most of them are women, though as we celebrate fathers during this month, I would like to highlight the jewels that my mentor, Alfred Edmond, Jr., taught me through the years.

We met at a Small Business Awards ceremony for people under 21 years ago. We stayed in touch and he has guided me with the intent, purpose, spirit and passion that describes the true meaning of a mentor, ever since.

I have learned many things from our lunches and chats and would like to share a few of the things he has taught me and that have guided me throughout my career:

1. The Road to Heaven is Paved Through Hell
From the first time I came to his offices, he would let me know that he did not get there by way of any ”crystal staircase.” If I wanted to be successful, which is basically my question toward him, he assured me that it would take faith, hard work, grit and determination. I would have to go through pain in order to gain. He said, “Trials & tribulation are not punishment, but necessary preparation for you to meet your destiny.” Through my years, I certainly discovered the truth of these statements.

2. Become a Woman of POWER
Yes, a man can teach you how to tap into your inner woman of power if you have not found her yet. We all have it in us, it just may take some encouragement, motivation, and gall to find. Not only did he recommend that I read one of his favorite books “The 48 Laws of Power” by Robert Greene, but he also gave me the opportunity to volunteer at the Black Enterprise, Woman of Power Conference in 2007. That single conference helped the trajectory of my career. I learned a great deal about moving up the corporate ranks, developing your own business, and met great women and friends that I stay in contact with today.

3. Promise to Reach Back and Help Someone Else
So the most important thing I learned and Alfred always emphasized, was to not just take all that I learned about success and use it for myself, but to “pass the baton” and guide young women and women that were looking to advance in their careers or obtain their dreams as well. Giving back flowed through his veins. I could tell by the time that he gave me out of his busy schedule, to speak to me, suggest edits on my resume, or put me in contact with someone else he thought would get me closer to my goals and by the time he gave to serving on boards and at his church.

I encourage you to ‘Pass the Baton’ as we were all given the gift of life and gifts that were meant to help someone else find their purpose.

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I have two examples of how the ‘committee’ could have helped two very good friends.

Jill is very close. She decides she needs to play in more events in Chicago so she signs up for city wide events. Jill lands at a club in a foursome of 3 women who know each other. Jill makes a mess in the bunker and counts her score at 5 at the end of the hole. Her playing partner counts 6. Jill lets the whole day ‘go to pieces’ because she lets this woman ruin it. Jill should have gone to the ‘committee,’ the head pro, to rectify the score at the end of the day.

Jim is playing in a junior event in Houston. He has hit his ball and sees someone pick it up. He tells the rules official that a person has picked up his ball (the rules official obviously does not believe him so he looks for the person). Jim’s options were to ask for another rules official, or, in the case of normal everyday people, there is option 2.

Option 2 is dropping a ball at the spot where the player deems the ball should have been and play in from there, AFTER re-teeing the ball with the penalty of ‘stroke and distance’ for lost ball. The player MUST announce which ball the scorer will score as per USGA, United States Golf Assoication rules of golf. THEN at the end of the round the ‘committee’ is brought into play to see which ball will be scored. The player has played two balls on this hole.

Playing the ‘committee’ rule is beneficial to the player. The decision usually goes to the competitor who has gone to extraodinary measures to protect their score.

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This frequently happens in golf.  We try out a new tip on the practice range or after a lesson with our professional work on a specific fundamental of our swing.  Hey …that works! But on the golf course its back to the same old bad habit or swing.  How can we avoid this?? By slightly modifying that old saying: it’s not practice that makes perfect; its good practice.

Because golf is such an individual sport, it’s a great game for “practicers.” While some good golfers are natural athletes born with exceptional skills and physical talents, it has been my experience that good players can also be developed from people with modest or little natural talent.  Jack Nicklaus once said: “Nobody but nobody has become a really proficient player without practice.”

Learning how to practice golf demands a skill all its own.  Everyone learns and practices differently depending on his or her own personality.  Take a look at the PGA and LPGA Tour and you’ll see how each player works differently on their games. But I do believe there are some important guidelines that can make everyone’s practice sessions more productive.

1. Start every practice session by reviewing your basic fundamentals with fun games.  Make it a routine to check your grip, stance, posture and alignment positions.  Become aware of maintaining good rhythm, timing and balance on every swing.  Hit and hold your finish position.  Your set up is the foundation of a good golf game. 
2. Each practice session, select one or two areas of the swing that could be improved and concentrate on those.  As I work with my students, we discuss the area we are working and narrow it down to a “one point” lesson.  I ask them to work on that specific area during their practice sessions.  Isolate those moves that we are working on, and repeat them until they feel natural.
3. Plan each practice shot with a definite purpose in mind.   Picture or visualize the shot and correct swing first, make the images vivid, complete your pre shot routine, swing and then assess the results.  Practice like you would play.  This take discipline –it’s different than just “beating balls” But the quality of practice is more important than the quantity of the balls hit.  Attaining your mental goal for each shot will help you build confidence that carries over to the course.  Play your home course on the range in practice.
4. Strive for consistency and accuracy.  Select a target within the range of your capabilities, and attempt to increase the number of balls landing or stopping in those target areas.  While using a driver, I worked to land the ball within a 30 yard fairway.  I count how many balls out of 25 that would land in that specific area.  My goal is for 100%; I started my practice, documented my progress and reviewed what I need to do to make my goal.  When I was successful I rewarded myself.  With this type of practice, I was able to not miss one fairway in the 1981 US Open in Boston.  I was not worried about the narrow fairways in the Open or the spectators because I practiced it many times before at my club in Jacksonville. 
5. Balance practice and play.  Attempt to keep the length of your practice time and intervals between practice periods relatively constant.  It’s important to create a routine.  Learn and develop skills from lessons, and work on them on the practice range and course.  Eventually test those skills on the course and keep your records.  Review with your golf professional/coach and repeat your practice sessions till you change your habits.  Seek consistent instruction along with consistent practice and play time.
6. Allocate practice time wisely.  Hitting balls with your favorite club or smashing drivers against the back fence maybe rewarding, but may not reduce your scores.  For that you need to spend at least 50% of your practice time on the short game…at least.  Make fun games while you practice short game – its fun and you’ll see yourself become more creative with shots that you will use on the course to lower your score.
7. Create a personal logbook of your practice sessions and your instructional sessions with your coach.  A written record helps you track your progress and remember what you have learned.  It’s a great reference for the future, and it helps capture those inspirational “a ha – I get it now” moments that you don’t want to forget.  I like seeing my progress over the past couple months.  Sometimes it’s easier to see your improvements over a longer period of time or it helps me get back on track.

 
In the end, it’s what you put into practice that determines what you get out of it.  I keep in mind the story of a young person who approached Ben Hogan to ask him how to become a champion golfer.  “Son,” Hogan asked the lad, “Do you have a practice bag?”  “Yes, sir,” the young man replied.  “Use it,” Hogan said and walked away.

I have honestly loved to practice as much as I loved to play golf.  In today’s fast paced world, to be able to go out to practice for an hour is not only great for my golf game but also a wonderful place to be outside, away from the computer, with friends and family and gives me a peaceful place to think.

Make your practice time fun as well as purposeful, and you’ll soon see how good practice will result in great golf!

For more ideas and programs that can be specifically crafted for you- contact Mary Hafeman, PGA & LPGA at www.maryhafemangolf.com or mhafe@aol.com – 904-233-0989
 

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After slowly but surely coming out of the closet by the middle of college and spending my senior year out and proud, beginning a new job and making a life for myself in an entirely new community posed a plethora of dilemmas. It was easy for me to decide that I would be open with people in my personal life, but what about professionally? Besides the fact that this personal/professional dichotomy is not clearly defined (especially when living with a coworker), I constantly grappled with questions like: Should I come out at work? Could I come out at work? How do I come out at work? When do I come out at work?

Of course, being me, I voiced these concerns to some of my mentors (also LGBTQ-identified), and of course, as most any LGBTQ person will tell you, they answered them with some variation of “coming out is a really personal decision that only you can make for yourself.” I know it’s true and I know I’ve used that same line with closeted friends more times than I can count, but some definitive advice would have been nice. Instead, I came up with my own criteria (which I suppose was the point of their non-advice, advice): I would test the water with ally-proclaiming postcards on my cubicle wall; I would wait until after my first review; I would make sure my roommate-coworker heard it from me and not through the grapevine, and so on.

But what’s it mean to be out, anyway? As often as I hear that coming out is an intensely personal decision, I hear people say that LGBTQ-identified people are constantly coming out. That is, the coming out process really never stops. It’s the reason I could go from having posters of my face identified with LGBTQ messages all around my college campus to a new city where I’m stuck in heteronormative assumptions without anyone batting an eyelash.

I don’t know of anyone in my office who is out. As of writing this, I’m not either. I’ve only formally disclosed my sexuality to one person at work (Hi, other coworkers), though it’s hard to know what everyone else thinks or knows or assumes. Within the office walls, my cubicle proclaims that I’m an ally and it’s no secret that I’m a feminist. Online, I’m connected to most of my coworkers on LinkedIn, which has a detailed history of my LGBTQ related activism. My Twitter, a constant feed of LGBTQ related sports news, is public. Neither of these online resources invokes my own identity (a deliberate decision), and the truth is that my LGBTQ activism and interest in LGBTQ topics in sports is not related to my own sexuality. Still, I know that won’t stop people from making assumptions.

I haven’t felt like being in the closet was extremely detrimental to my productivity or even my ability to be comfortable in the work environment, but it did lead me to draw a strict line between my social life and my work life, potentially stunting friendships with coworkers and leaving me on the outside of things when everyone else was congregating on Facebook (I deliberately decided not to friend coworkers, since my Facebook profile is a giveaway). Other times, I opted out of sharing stories around the water cooler in lieu of merely listening or telling half-truths.

See, for me anyways, once I was in the closet at work, it seemed easier to stay there. As soon as I checked off all of the criteria I initially set for myself, I immediately came up with another reason to wait. When I realized what I was doing, I was angry at myself. It’s out of character for me. Hiding just isn’t what I’m about. The thing is, there will never be a perfect time. There will always be another big project waiting to be assigned or another review around the corner. If people like Brittney Griner, Jason Collins, and Ellen DeGeneres can come out, and if Kyrsten Sinema can campaign as openly bisexual and still win an election to represent a very red Arizona in Congress, and if all of them can live their lives under the public spotlight, what’s stopping me?

As of today, nothing.

Happy Pride Month, y’all.

In a future blog, I’ll have some advice other than that everyone needs to make their own decisions about coming out in the workplace. In the meantime, what are your experiences being LGBTQ in the workforce or having LGBTQ identified colleagues?

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Jim Rohn says “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” When following your passion, make sure to take time to learn from someone that well into the place you desire to be. You never know what you will learn, especially if you do not ask! I asked Jeannette Perez for a brief moment of her time and here is what I learned.

Jeannette Perez grew up in Florida where she gained an interested in law and film. Perez’s parents, originally from the Dominican Republic, instilled in her a strong sense of confidence and discipline. “My parents, education and hard work ethic definitely helped me get to where I am today,” Jeanette described. “I always knew that if I studied hard and did well in school, I would go far,” and that she did. After graduating with her bachelor’s degree, Jeannette studied law at the University of Miami, graduated and went on to pass the bar in Florida, New Jersey and New York.

While in school, Jeannette built relationships with mentors that she still stays in touch with today. “Wherever I worked, I made sure that I left an impact on people, so that they would remember me,” she effused. Jeannette’s efforts led her to be recommended for Sony’s executive development program. She credits much of what she learned as a law student, including analytic and time management skills, to her early success. As Vice President of Music for Brands & Advertising/Licensing, she still gives back by speaking at events and volunteering her time to help others gain momentum on similar paths.

Jeannette believes that maintaining a healthy work/life balance is important to being successful in any industry. She does not neglect taking time to recharge and connect with her family and friends. She also likes to read, mostly fiction. She suggested All you Need to Know about the Music Business, for music industry up-and-comers, The Imperfectionist (novel) for writers, Getting to Yes, and Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office for women shattering glass ceilings in the corporate world.

 
Read the original post here.

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The dancers and director intend to inspire all to make good life choices and follow in the footsteps of people that do the same. They are looking for new bookings for the 2013-14 season. Check out their website at www.paradigmfluxdance.org. Auditions for dancers are May 19th 1:00pm at Dansations Performing Arts Center

Poise, grace, strength, confidence, empowerment and appearance of self control: these are the characteristics young ladies and women should have. Dance can conquer all of these. A dancer’s movement never lies, it come from the soul. Learning the discipline of dance requires focus, energy, creativity and constant control and respect of one’s body.

As the Director of Dansations Performing Arts Center for the past 16 years, Kim McDonough has seen young girls go on to do great things. Some are professional dancers and other doctors, lawyers, Moms, teachers and countless other professions. Working with Paradigm Flux, gives Kim the opportunity to see how self-confidence breeds success.

Young ladies need to look in the mirror and see something they love, dance is like a superpower for young ladies as they grow, so take a “leap” and see what you’re missing!

Kim McDonough
Director – Paradigm Flux Inc.
Owner – Dansations Performing Arts Center

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Incompletions can create significant anxiety, worry and tension. Every day, we each make commitments to do things. Saying you’ll meet a client at a certain time is an agreement. Committing to have an employee review done by a certain date is an agreement. Promising to send that article is an agreement.

Broken agreements destroy relationships.  Not doing what you say you will do when promised is a broken agreement. The problem for many of us is keeping agreements with ourselves.  Promising ourselves we’ll get up early to exercise and then rolling over when the alarm goes off is a broken agreement.
 Telling ourselves we will review that new report on technology and never doing so is a broken agreement. Pile up enough of those and you have a fundamental sense of discomfort, distrust of self, and poor self-esteem. 

Completion is Powerful

In The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz describes the circle of completion. The three phases in this circle are germination, assimilation and completion. Germination is the initial start-up phase of a project, where you feel the greatest excitement and enthusiasm. You’ll most likely share that contagious energy with others, get your client fired up and propel your team forward.

Assimilation is where you’re actually doing the project, moving forward. Most people get stuck here and never completely finish. That’s a big mistake because they lose out on all the success, joy and power that comes from Completion. All too many businesses get stuck in Assimilation.

There is a distinct and special energy you experience every time you Complete. Reflect on the last time you finished some goal or project you’d been working on for a long time. How did you feel? Satisfied, pleased, perhaps even proud?  Did you delight your client and come in under budget? Does that client now value you and want to work with you more? The energy of completion gets you motivated to accomplish your next goal. It actually fuels the next project!

How to Get More Completion in Your Business

• Walk through your office and notice what is incomplete. Are there piles and piles of papers to be filed, hundreds of emails to be read, contracts to be reviewed?  Take 10 minutes right
now and do one of those tasks.  Feel the completion.
• Are there any old newspapers or half-read industry magazines in your office?
Recycle them or throw them away right now.
• Close any half-read books and declare them done.  If you choose to read them later, that’s your new project, but for now, finish them this way.
• Reward yourself and your employees every time you have a big completion.  Go out to lunch, give out hand-written thank you notes to each employee who worked on the project. Celebrate successes.

 
Completions can fuel your energy for new projects, hugely improve your productivity  and get you Fired Up!
 Start tackling your incompletions now and see how much better you feel and how much stronger your business becomes as a result.

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The service I attended was for my cousin and it was a beautiful gathering of friends and family who celebrated this precious new life and welcomed her into the world and the community. I was touched by the service and the outpouring of love in the room. I wondered how this little girl will feel when she watches the recording of the event and how the embodied memory of this experience will help to shape her.

As I listened to the ceremony I thought about how we celebrate our girls, both here and in other countries. What are the messages that we send that support and honor them versus the ones that undermine, judge and restrict them? How do our institutions, language and traditions unwittingly limit their potential? What new rituals might we add in our own lives to help increase the likelihood that our daughters will have a strong sense of self and a belief in their limitless potential?

I do not have all the answers to these questions, but I think there is value in asking them and in exploring them and sharing our ideas. In a recent Forbes magazine essay, Warren Buffet said that, “women are key to America’s prosperity and [we must] embrace the skills, talents and ideas of an entire population if we are to continue to achieve great things in the world.” He went on to say, “too many women continue to impose limitations on themselves, talking themselves out of achieving their potential.”

What can we do to help support every woman in achieving her potential? I see rituals celebrating girls as one important idea whose time has come. Not only does it send an important message to the individual girls, but it sends an important message to the society: girls matter. Let’s keep looking for ways, both large and small, to let our daughters know they matter, and while we’re at it, let’s do the same for each other. How can we be more proactive in supporting one another in achieving our fullest potential? How can we actively participate and add to one another’s success?

Thirty years ago there was no Jewish service to celebrate the birth of a daughter. A few parents found this unacceptable and did something about it. Things can and do change. What do you find unacceptable and what do you want to do about it?

The post What can we do to help support every woman in achieving her potential? appeared first on GENWNOW.

What a blessing in itself that women have the freedom to gather, co-create and inspire one another. From all over the world we united for one common cause, to better ourselves and the people around us. I was honored to give a talk on what I know best, food and the vitality and happiness it brings to my life in hopes of inspiring you to do the same.

This won’t be the last time I write about bringing more greens into your life, but a friendly reminder of how amazing it can be for our overall energy, health, skin and environment.  Food in it natural state, contains more vitamins, minerals and readily available enzymes.

What are enzymes?

Enzymes are living proteins that serve as a catalyst for specific biochemical and metabolic reactions in the body. Food in its natural state is full of enzymes, however, once heated above 118 F all are destroyed. Enzymes play a vital role in digestion, protect the body against disease, break down foreign material ( think pac man), help maintain intestinal cleanliness, keep our immune system strong and harmonize our bodies to keep us healthy.  The easiest way to bring more enzymes into your diet is to eat food in its natural raw state. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

Ways to add more greens to your diet?

• add a handful of spinach or kale to your morning smoothie
• add a handful of cilantro, parsley or basil to your normal salad dressing
• have a least one green salad a day 
• add a handful of kale to your standard pesto( see recipe below) 
• use swiss chard or collard greens in place of a tortilla or spring roll paper ( fill with yummy raw veggies, avocado and pesto) 
• use zucchini, sweet potato, carrot or beet in place of pasta with the spiralizer (all raw)

 
 
Raw Zucchini Pasta with Kale- Basil Pumpkin Seed Pesto & Slow Roasted Cherry Tomatoes

Ingredients:
4 zucchini small or 2 large
2 cups cherry tomatoes
2 cups kale
2 cups basil
1/2 cup raw pumpkin seeds (toasted in skillet until brown)
1/3 cup olive oil plus more for cherry tomatoes
1/4 cup fresh squeezed orange juice (2 oranges)
sea salt
fresh thyme
raw sugar
 

Directions:

For Tomatoes:
Preheat oven 300 F.
Toss tomatoes in olive oil, a sprinkling of salt, a pinch of raw sugar ( just to off set acidity of tomatoes) and a couple sprigs of thyme.
Cook for 30 to 45 minutes or until slightly charred.
Omit this step if you want 100% raw dish. Just slice and marinate tomatoes with a bit of olive oil and salt.

For Zucchini: 
Clean zucchini and crank through spiralizer.
Add to bowl and refrigerate until ready to use.
Best if spiralized no longer than an hour before serving.

For Pesto: 
Toast pumpkin seeds, cool and set aside.
Add basil and kale to food processor or blender. Pulse until uniform in size. Add pumpkin seeds and pulse again.
Slowly stream in orange juice and olive oil until desired consistency. Season with salt to taste.

To Serve: Toss zucchini with pesto, top with tomatoes. Feel free to add more veggies, goat cheese and/or protein of your choice.

This dish is a crowd pleaser all around. Kids love it with a sprinkling of parmesan, olive oil and sea salt. They will never know its not real pasta.

• Many thanks to Black Hog Farm for the fresh goodies served at the Generation W conference. 
• Check out www.localharvest.com to find a farm near you. Many farms deliver straight to your door. 

 
Some words:
Whatever you choose to eat or do in your life, do it well. If you truly believe it makes you healthy and happy, it will. Be well, dance and play in the kitchen. Put much love and intention into your food as you source, prepare and enjoy it.  Give thanks for the circle of life that brings our reality into existence.

All my love and many blessings from the jungle of Costa Rica,
B

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Many of those fortunate enough to have accepted a job offer will be relocating. They will, for all intents and purposes, be starting over: new job, new living situation, new friends, new…everything. If you find yourself in this boat, you may be asking yourself how to make friends in the “real world.” That is, how do you make friends that aren’t selected for you based on a “sorting hat” that placed you in your first-year dorm and when you aren’t spending the subsequent three years on a 100-acre campus with thousands of other young people all in your same shoes? More generally, how do you make a life for yourself in an entirely new environment?

I’m not an expert, but at 3 months in my new city and in my new job, I’m somewhere in between where you stand now, at the beginning of the process, and having “made it,” defined however you’d like.

Here’s what’s worked for me or for my friends in similar situations:

• Ask yourself, besides studying, how did you spend your time in college? 
  • Were you a student-activist? On a varsity, club, or intramural sports team? A member of a faith-based community?  A volunteer at an off-campus organization?  You don’t have to stop being involved in those activities!  Grown-up versions of those groups exist and just like in college, they’re all great places to meet people with similar interests in settings that are fairly comfortable for you.  Websites like meetup.com or even a simple Google search can help you to find these groups and also to discover new things.  At the very least, you’ll probably find a group called “young professionals in ______,” which is a good place to start.  And if all else fails, create a new meetup to fill a void you’ve identified.
• Let friends and family members help you.
  • It’s a lesson you probably learned during the job search—people know people who know people.  Email around to your friends, family, past co-workers, etc.  Even if they aren’t living in your new city, somebody will know somebody in the place you’re about to call home and chances are, that person in your new city will gladly at least grab coffee with you to welcome you to town.
• Come up with a weekday routine that works for you and stick with it.
  • During your relocation you’ll realize that you can only rely on yourself.  Having a routine will help you to feel settled. It doesn’t have to be elaborate and it doesn’t have to be the same everyday—maybe you have a schedule for Mondays, a different schedule for Tuesday/Thursday, and yet another plan for Wednesday.  The important thing is for you to figure out what’s important to you and to make a set time for it.  Even just having the book-ends of your days set–what time you will go to bed, what time you will wake up, and what’s the latest you have to leave to get to work on time—will help give you a framework.  Personally, I also like scheduling in what time I’m going to the gym and which days I’m getting to which farmer’s markets.

 
To the more veteran relocaters out there, what’s worked for you?

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