Refocusing after Setbacks

By Dale Beaman



How many times have you started a diet or exercise program, a new way of thinking, or tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were?

Maybe you lost 15 and gained it back, started an exercise program and let yourself get too busy to keep up the routine or applied for your ideal job and didn’t get it.

Don’t worry; you are not the only one! Setbacks occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life.

There are two ways of facing the difficulty of setbacks. You either can change the situation or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it. You can use these setbacks to build your confidence, however it depends on how you deal with them.  Deal with them ineffectively and they can damage your self-worth.

Your response to challenges and difficulties makes a difference

When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.

So, if after a setback you ask yourself something like “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?” Your mind will probably come out with something like:

“Because I’m useless and good things do not happen to me!”   Sound familiar?

Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like: “What did I learn from this setback for next time?” Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.

Here are some helpful guidelines and things to consider when setbacks do occur:

  • Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
  • What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?Acknowledge that everyone experiences setbacks and you are not being singled out.
    • What is good about this situation?
    • How can I make the most of this situation?
    • How can I look at this situation with a different lens?
    • What can I learn from it?
    • What is the next choice I can make that will propel an inspiring future?
  • View a setback as a challenge to overcome and a guidepost that will give you direction to how you can come back stronger!
  • Find a close friend or community where you feel safe (non – judgmental) to talk about the challenge. Get their help in brainstorming ways to refocus and get the best out of this situation.

Think about the negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback. What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers!  Write these down now and make them a habit.

A setback can be a setup for a comeback!


DaleBeaman-259x300About the Author
Dale Beaman, a leadership coach, facilitator and speaker, serves as a catalyst for creating positive change and transformation. She specializes in guiding clients to navigate values, discover purpose and create vision that unleashes potential. Her personal philosophy is “when we live our deepest values, connect to our purpose and find our direction, we experience more meaning, health and happiness.”